Safety Tips
Empowerment Begins with Preparation
Safety Tips for Male Survivors of Abuse
Practical Safety Planning
Create a Code Word
Choose a word or phrase to use with trusted friends or family to signal when you need help without alerting your abuser.
Keep Important Documents Ready
Have copies of your ID, health insurance, bank info, and protective orders in a safe, accessible place.
Plan Your Exit Route
Know multiple ways to leave your home quickly—through doors, windows, stairwells, or elevators.
Pack a Go Bag
Include clothes, medications, chargers, keys, cash, and personal documents. Hide it securely or store it with someone you trust.
Secure Digital Privacy
Update passwords, turn off location tracking, and use private browsing. Check for spyware and consider encrypted apps.
Be Cautious on Social Media
Avoid posting locations or check-ins. Adjust privacy settings to limit what an abuser can see.
Memorize Key Numbers
Commit hotline numbers and trusted contacts to memory in case you lose access to your phone.
Establish Safe Spaces
Identify nearby locations where you can go quickly in an emergency—such as a friend’s home, community center, or store.
Store Emergency Cash
Hide small amounts in multiple places for transportation or basic needs.
Rehearse Safety Plans
Practice your exit plan so it feels natural under stress.
Immediate Physical Safety
Defending Yourself Legally
- Know your state’s self-defense laws and use only minimal necessary force
- Call police immediately and stay at the scene to provide your account
- Gather and preserve evidence to support your report
During a Violent Incident
- Stay calm and avoid escalating the situation
- Protect vital areas by curling into a ball to shield your head, neck, and torso
- Call 911 if it can be done safely—police will respond even if you hang up
- Document injuries or damage as soon as it’s safe
Evidence and Documentation
Photography Evidence
- Photograph injuries and property damage using scale references and timestamps
- Use secure devices and back up files in encrypted cloud storage
Build a Paper Trail
- Keep a journal of incidents, dates, times, and witnesses
- Save texts, emails, voicemails, and social media threats
- Seek medical attention for all injuries and request documentation
- File police reports consistently
Overcoming Unique Challenges
Primary Income Earner
- Open separate bank accounts and document financial abuse
- Consult an attorney about obligations during separation
- Research temporary support programs
Dealing With Disbelief
- Connect with male survivor groups and male-friendly resources
- Share educational materials with your support network
- Seek professionals experienced in working with male survivors
Father and Custody Concerns
- Keep records of parenting involvement
- Seek emergency custody if children are at risk
- Maintain documentation to support your role and ensure safety
Legal Protection and Support
Criminal Charges and Advocacy
- Press charges where appropriate
- Engage victim advocacy services and provide impact statements
Restraining Orders
- File with strong evidence and request specific protections
- Learn how to report violations and ensure law enforcement has records
Technology and Communication
- Change passwords regularly and review privacy settings
- Use burner phones or encrypted apps if necessary
- Clear browser history when researching resources
Emergency Escape Plan
- Identify safe locations, arrange transportation, and plan for pets
- Ensure access to secure communication and backup contacts
Building Support
- Work with legal advocates, medical professionals, and victim services
- Identify trusted friends, family, and workplace resources
- Connect with survivor support groups and faith communities if helpful
Emergency Contacts
- 911 for immediate danger
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (24/7, confidential, trained to assist male victims)
- Crisis Text Line: Text START to 88788
- National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988